Fluffy pink princess
by CJ Lunacy
Summary: This story includes Sasuke and his band rebels, counseling, rabbits, snakes, chores, major OOC, dysfunctional families and everyone’s favorite angry yellowed eyed snake man… for those who haven’t figured it out Orochimaru Yeah!You have been warned. ...I'm


Fluffy Pink Princess

This story includes Sasuke and his band rebels, counseling, rabbits, snakes, chores, major OOC, dysfunctional families and everyone's favorite angry yellowed eyed snake man… for those who haven't figured it out Orochimaru Yeah!  
You have been warned.

part 1 Fighting disclaimer: TT I dont own naruto...or do I.  
ok thats was obivously a lie i dont own naruto and the chance of me ever owning it is dangeroulsy slim.

: This takes place after the funeral of Obito:

Mikoto: walks in to house with her family I just don't understand how a boy your age gets so dirty at a funeral (A/N: Mikoto is Sasuke and Itachi's mom)  
Fugaku: it's just dirt Mikoto Mikoto: no it is not just dirt, I'll be damned before I raise dirty children Fugaku: Mikoto dirt never killed anyone Mikoto: but germs did, now Itachi I want you to go up stairs and run some bath water so I can give you a bath.  
Itachi: but mom Mikoto: stomps her foot no buts mister or I am going to spank yours (A/N: image Itachi getting spanked by his momma )  
Sasuke: heh heh yeah Itachi get your ass upstairs Mikoto: looks over at Sasuke you have such a potty mouth, you get it from your father Fugaku: what me you're the one that's constantly swearing Mikoto: you have some nerve Fugaku!  
Fugaku: NOT AS MUCH AS YOU Mikoto: stop yelling!  
Fugaku: IAM NOT YELLING!  
Itachi: OH MY GOD!  
Fugaku and Mikoto: WHAT NOW!  
Itachi: nothing Mikoto: I thought I told you to take a bath!  
Itachi: starts walking up stairs  
Fugaku: NO STAY RIGHT THERE ITACHI Itachi: stops walking  
Mikoto: GO!  
Itachi: starts up the stairs again  
Fugaku: NO!  
Itachi: stops WOULD YOU PEOPLE MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!  
Fugaku: GREAT NOW YOU GOT THE BOY YELLING!  
Mikoto: I DO NOT!  
Sasuke: HEY WHY DON'T WE ALL STOP YELL-  
Fugaku and Mikoto: SHUT UP!  
Itachi: walks over to Sasuke great, if mom and dad get a divorce its your fault.  
Sasuke: IT WILL NOT Itachi: it doesn't matter now Sasuke: yeah… but I know one thing Itachi: what?  
Sasuke: I am going with the one who keeps the house Itachi: I am going with mom, that way I wont starve Sasuke: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SHE STARTED ALL THIS MESS I HOPE DAD PUTS HER OUT!  
Itachi: HE CAN'T DO THAT!  
Sasuke: yes he can mama's boy Itachi: I am not a momma's boy!  
Mikoto: I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS I'M GOING TO BED Guys: fine walks into separate rooms Mikoto: runs up to room she shares with Fugaku and locks door  
Fugaku: tries to walk in room OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!  
Mikoto: NO! Throws Fugaku a blanket you're on the couch tonight buddy!  
Fugaku: oh yeah that's real mature!

(In Itachi and sasuke's shared room)

Sasuke: I can't believe I got to share a room with a momma's boy like you Itachi: what are you talking about this was my room before you came along!  
Sasuke: THAT'S NOT MY PROMBLEM NOW IS IT.  
Fugaku: opens Itachi and sasuke's door shut up and get out!  
Itachi: huh?  
Sasuke: what?  
Fugaku: get OUT!  
Itachi and Sasuke: runs out of room in to living room  
Sasuke: picks up the phone  
Itachi: what are you doing?  
Sasuke: I am calling a counselor, I'll be damned if I am spending weekends and holidays with mom at her tiny cock roach infested one bedroom apartment with no heat and drug dealing neighbors.  
Itachi: you thought about this haven't you?  
Sasuke: you bet I have dials number

Counseling

Fugaku: I can't believe I am here. we don't need counseling. Counseling is for crazy people and dysfunctional families were neither of those. Mikoto: we do dear, I can feel our family ripping away at the seems Fugaku: no there is nothing wrong with our family looks over at a dysfunctional family

: Dysfunctional family:

Aires: SHUT UP!  
Orochimaru: NO I WILL NOT!  
Aires: I am leaving tries no leave  
Orochimaru: oh no you don't tries to leave before Aires I am leaving first Kabuto: common guys we got to work this out Counselor: I agree don't you all want to be a real family again?  
Aires: that would be nice sits back down  
Orochimaru: I guess that would be kind of nice also sits down  
Counselor: now Aires what is it about Orochimaru that upsets you?  
Orochimaru: nothing I am perfect.  
Aires: that's exactly it he's so conceited Counselor: is that all?  
Aires: and all his god damn snakes, there every were Orochimaru: every where Aires, sounds like someone's over reacting Aires: I am not!  
Counselor: Orochimaru what is about Aires that angers you?  
Orochimaru: EVERYTHING Counselor: really everything?  
Orochimaru: well not everything, it mostly her nauseating cooking skill Counselor: now don't you think you can work this out?  
Aires: well I guess we could Orochimaru: yeah it would Counselor: now hug and make up Orochimaru and Aires: hugs

Mikoto: see counseling really does work Fugaku: well I guess your right but…

Orochimaru: ah god Aires what is that smell smells Aires hair ah my god!  
Aires: what its my new shampoo I think it smells nice Orochimaru: it freaken stinks Aires: it does not Orochimaru: YES, IT DOES

Fugaku: but the peace never last long, and sometimes they end up worst than when they started.  
Mikoto: I am scared Fugaku: I know honey we all are, now stands up lets just slip out of here and-  
Jiraiya: oh no you don't jumps in front of the Uchiha family Fugaku: get out of my way Jiraiya: I talked to your son and your family is having serious problems.  
Fugaku: looks over at his sons which one of you little traitors sold us out?  
Sasuke: I did Fugaku: glares at Sasuke  
Itachi: moves away from Sasuke  
Fugaku: you little-  
Jiraiya: hold on wait, you can strangle your son after the counseling Fugaku: I guess that's fair sits down in chair  
Sasuke: sits in chair furthers away from Fugaku Jiraiya: ok lets begain Fugaku: wheres the Counselor?  
Jiraiya: your looking at him Uchiha family: OO.  
Jiraiya: what with all the looks?  
Itachi: TT We want a different Counselor Jiraiya: whats wrong with me Fugaku: let me lay this down real simple... your a pervert and I am not seeking help from a perv Jiraiya: I Resent that Mikoto: what my husband and son are trying to say is your not the best role model and I dont think your in any position to give anyone any type of Guidance.  
Fugaku:Thats right!  
Sasuke: can we please get this Counseling over with!  
Itachi: yeah I could be vandalizing someones elses property right now Fugaku: yeah he could be... hold on you vandal?  
Itachi: lets just get this counseling over with. Jiraiya: Mr.Uchiha I promise no to lead your family on to the wrong path because it is my sworn Fugaku: TT can we just get this over with, but the moment you start spouting some foolishness me and my family are out of here.  
Jiraiya: deal, now please tell me what your familt fights about.

(A/N: ok while they discussing their troubles i wanted to tell every one these brakets mean thinking)

Jiraiya:now the I think the main promblem with your family is-  
Itachi: its sasuke I know its the the little fiend child sasuke  
sasuke: its mom I know it, it has to be her  
Mikoto: not me, not me, please not me  
Fugaku:please say its Itachi, i've been looking for a reason to boot him out the house  
Jiraiya: your children Uchiha family: OO Uchiha children: US WHAT DID WE DO!  
Mikoto: there must be a mistake.  
Jiraiya: no mistake it seems that every one of your arguements start because of one of your sons.  
Fugaku: YOUR RIGHT IT IS THE KIDS FAULT.  
Mikoto: well it does seem true we use to get along so nice before we had kids.  
Fugaku: points at Itachi and Sasuke you little titans are ruining me and your mothers lifes!  
Uchiha children: OO Jiraiya: I suggest you leave your children with some friends or Relatives and go on a vaction.  
Fugaku: now this guy is starting to speak my language Mikoto: a vaction does sound nice Itachi: no what about me you cant leave me with just anyone I have to be well taken-  
Fugaku: would you shut up cause no one cares!  
Jiraiya: I also have a little suggestion for sasuke Uchiha family: looks over at Jiraiya  
Jiraiya: he seems to be having some issues with himself and his temper.  
sasuke: no I do not!  
Mikoto: omg your right just look at him his about to explode.  
Fugaku: no that you mention it he does seem kinda anger.  
Mikoto: what should we do?  
Jiraiya: I advise you to get him a dog Fugaku: a dog whats a dog going to do that a swift kick to the rear can't?  
Jiraiya: a dog would be a nice companion for him.  
Mikoto: your right I have yet to see him with friends Sasuke: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I GOT FRIENDS!  
Itachi: sand demons, bug chilren and odd kids with strangley colored eyes dont count as friends.  
Sasuke: WHY NOT!  
Jiraiya: just look at all that rage...looks at his watch well your Counseling is over inless you want to pay another $150.05 for another hour.  
Fugaku: no were fine runs out door with his family  
Mikoto: I just remembered that we dont have any friends to leave the kids with.  
sasuke: thats too bad i guess your not going on any vactions until I move out...in 6 years but I'm sure you can wait.  
Fugaku: what makes you think your still going to be living with us until your 18 your lucky I dont kick you and your brother ot on the streets today.  
sasuke: you cant do that!  
Fugaku: I can and I will now all we got to do is find some unexpecting fool that will take in a couple of home wreckers.  
sinister voice: I will Uchiha Family: turns and looks at person  
Itachi: oh its my teacher Orochimaru Mikoto: you would really be willing to watch our children?  
Orochimaru: of couse I love children and I was kinda looking for some more worker- I mean working, working hands to help me around the garden.  
kabuto: comes out of know where DONT DO IT ITS A TRAP!  
Orochimaru:puts hands over kabuto's mouth and smiles at Uchiha family the boy is sick he doesnt know what hes talking about.  
smiles and grabs sasuke I'll take him, I prefer the young children they last longer.  
Fugaku: alright then we will drop him off at your place tomarrow.  
Orochimaru: see you tomarrow walks off  
Kabuto: YOU FOOLS DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE!  
Orochimaru: KABUTO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!  
Kabuto: runs off  
Fugaku: what the...well at least we got rid of sasuke now for Itachi...

Pet Store

:outside petstore:

Fugaku: alright son I want you to go in there points at pet store and bring out the animal you like.  
sasuke: hold on, where are you going to be?  
Fugaku: me?...I will be waiting in there points at the car with your mother and soon to be Evicted brother.  
sasuke: looks over at the unsuspecting Itachi...looks back at pet store ok iam going in.

:20 mins later in the Uchiha family car:

Fugaku: I cant believe you came outside with that repulsive creature.  
sasuke: but I like it.  
Fugaku: I coulds have swore the counselor said dog points at box in sasukes lap NOT FLUFFY PINK RABBITS!  
Mikoto: now honey if he wants the rabbit let him keep it.  
Fugaku: HELL NO! I DONT WANT ANYTHING FLUFFY PINK IN MY HOUSE Mikoto: If he wants a rabbit LET HIM HAVE IT.  
Itachi: so what are you going to name it?  
sasuke: I've been thinking about and I decided on... fluffy pink princess Uchiha family: ... OO.  
sasuke: Fugaku: turns around and looks at sasuke what the hell did you just say?  
Mikoto: honey now calm down its just a name-  
Fugaku: A NAME MY ASS, CAN'T YOU JUST NAME IT HOWARD?  
sasuke: NO WAY SCREW HOWARD!  
Fugaku: turns around and looks out window that was your grandfathers name...howard sasuke: I dont want his name to be howard the name sucks!  
Itachi: slides away from sasuke  
Mikoto: opens glove capartment and pulls out book  
Fugaku: turns around and tries to swing on sasuke  
sasuke: ducks under seat to avoid being hit  
Mikoto: tries to grab the wheel to avoid a wreck Fugaku: still swinging and hits Itachi, then his foot hit mikotos hand causing the car to swerve  
sasuke: under the car seat  
Itachi: screaming OMG WE ARE GOING TO DIE!  
Mikoto: trying to avoid death with tears running down her face  
sasuke: its ok fluffy pink princess he cant-  
just at that moment right before sasuke could finish his sentence the car jerked around causing itachi who i might add doesnt believe in seatbelts hit his head quite violently on the seat in front of him  
Fugaku: what the hell turns back around to look at mikoto cant you drive, you trying to kill us all!  
Mikoto: please just take the wheel Fugaku!  
Fugaku: sits back in seat and takes the wheel  
sasuke: gets back into his seat  
mikoto: ok now when we get home sasuke I want you and Itachi to pack your bags.  
Itachi: gripping his neck yes ma'am sasuke: but itachi doesnt have any where to go Fugaku: now thats not true Mikoto: yeah we called a friend and he said he would be more than happy to watch him.  
Itachi: who is it?  
Mikoto: is name is Iruka he even teaches at a school.  
Fugaku: ...hold did you just say Iruka Mikoto: yeah why Fugaku: I met him at the funeral he was blabbin something about martha stewart.  
Mikoto:thats nice

The drop off

Fugaku: are you kids down yet, MY PLANE LEAVES AT 12:00 AND IF YOU MAKE ME MISS IT THERES GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY!  
Itachi and sasuke: comes downstairs with luggage  
Fugaku: now get in the car.  
every body gets in the car  
Fugaku: so where are we going first?  
Mikoto: first we will drop itachi off at Iruka and mizuki's house, then we drop sasuke off at Orochimaru's place.  
Fugaku: drives to iruka and mizuki's house

:20 minutes later, in front of Iruka and mizuki's house:

Iruka: comes outside in pink frilly pink apron  
(A/N: ok I'm a Iruka fan and everything so dont stone me)  
Fugaku: stares a long time at Iruka's very pink very frilly super gay apron WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING!  
Iruka: oh this spins around showing off apron I made it, do you like?  
Uchiha family: OO sasuke: fag everyone.  
(A/N: I got nothing against gays ar nothing I just thought it would be nice to put it in the story)  
Iruka: what?  
Fugaku: itachi.  
Itachi: yes dad Fugaku: get the hell out of my car so that I can get as far away from here as humanly possible.  
Itachi: yes sir grabs luggage and get out car  
uchiha family car: drives off  
Itachi: stares at leaving car goodbye family looks at Iruka I might not come back the same.  
Iruka: come inside, me and mizuki are just about to make a cake.  
itachi: looks back at now very far away Uchiha family vehicle then walks inside the home of Iruka and Mizuki

:Back in the Uchiha family vehicle:  
fugaku:... makoto why didnt you tell me those men where gay Mikoto: there not gay Fugaku.  
fugaku: you telling me that when a man...sasuke why the hell are you so quite?  
Sasuke: I dont know... its promblemly the fact THAT MY BROTHER IS STAYING WITH GAYS!  
Fugaku:your right that is pretty traumatizing :rustle: what the hell was that?  
sasuke: I,I didnt hear anything mikoto: here what :rustle: dear?  
Fugaku: there it is again.  
mikoto: honey :rustle: I Fugaku: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE AND :rustle: starts looking around the car  
mikoto: I think i hear it Fugaku: looks over at sasuke who has a box shape thing sticking out of his shirt boy what is that under your shirt?  
sasuke: nothing :rustle:  
Fugaku: ITS THAT FLUFF GAY ASS RABBIT ISNT IT!  
sasuke: pulls out fluffy pink princess's cage out from under his shirt  
Fugaku: I cant believe you bought that fluffy pink abomination back in this car!  
Mikoto: honey calm down its just a rabbit Fugaku: I thought I told you to parks car leave that thing at home!  
Sasuke: I couldnt leave it at home it was going to starved!  
Fugaku: THAT WAS WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR DUMBASS.  
bang bang bang someone knocking on there window  
Fugaku: what the hell Uchiha family: looks out window to see Orochimaru standing outsite there window  
Orochimaru: are you guys just going to sit in there and argue or are you ...you know gimme the kid.  
Fugaku: yeah... get the hell out of my car sasuke!  
sasuke gets out of car and Fugaku drives off  
Orochiamru:smiling at sasuke  
sasuke: stares at Orochiamru :rustle:  
Orochiamru: what the hell was that?  
Sasuke: pulls out fluffy pink rabbit its my rabbit.  
Orochimaru: ...rabbit huh, I thought the Counselor told you to get a dog.  
sasuke: ...yeah but... this is a rabbit Orochimaru: ...I see.  
Sasuke: do you have any rabbits?  
Orochimaru: no, but i do have snakes... and a lot of em.  
sasuke: oh.  
Orochimaru: I just got this new snake, come on I'll show you.  
Sasuke: walks to the back of the house were snakes are kept  
note on gate: Warning: beyond this door lie Ridiculously huge snakes enter at your own risk.  
Sasuke: stares at the warning sign um are you sure its safe.  
Orochimaru: safe, what the hell do you think this is a petting zoo! grabs sasuke  
sasuke: starts kicking and screaming  
Orochimaru: HEY CALM DOWN YOUR GOING TO MEET MANDA ONE WAY OR ANOTHER SO STOP-  
right before Orochimaru could finish his sentence his face got to close to the swinging sasuke. its safe to saw he got scratched a good one  
Orochimaru: DARN YOU, YOU LITTLE JUGGLE BRAT I'M GOING TO-  
neighbor: howdy orochiamru!  
Orochimaru: what the hell do you want?  
neighbor: I was-  
Orochimaru: cant you see I'm busy, now what do you want!  
neighbor: I wanted to know can you spare a cup of sugar, hey um what are you doing to that kid points at sasuke.  
Orochimaru: now bleeding quite voilently from the face I ain't got no sugar for the likes of you runs in house while dragging in sasuke and shuts door only to pass out from loss of blood

:20 minutes later:

Orochimaru: sitting in the living room with kabuto and sasuke I cant believe you scratched me... you really are a jungle kid.  
kabuto: you scratched him pretty good too I was-  
Orochimaru: Kabuto shut up and go clean up that bloody mess I made in the hallway.  
Kabuto: runs off to get carpet cleaner  
Sasuke: .  
Orochimaru: glares at sasuke you know I'm going to make you pay for scuffing my flawless face, right?  
Sasuke: tries to say something  
Orochiamru: shut up coz anything you say may matter at your house, but it doesnt at mine.  
Sasuke: OO Orochimaru: now thats all cleared up pulls out checker board. do you play checkers?  
Sasuke: I Orochimaru: it doesnt matter your going to play.

:10 mins later:  
Sasuke: king me Orochimaru: ARRRRHHGG flips over checker board I learned something today Sasuke: what is it?  
Orochimaru: UCHIHAS CHEAT AT CHECKERS!  
Sasuke: we do not!  
Orochimaru: yes... THEY DO!  
Sasuke: NO THEY DONT Orochimaru: YOU KNOW WHAT...I'M SICK AND TIRED OF- voice: what you guys doing in here Orochimaru and sasuke turn to look out the window  
Sasuke: Neji, opens up window  
Orochimaru: what the hell Neji: comes in through windowwhats going on sasuke sasuke: nothing much I though-  
Orochimaru: SHUT UP!  
Sasuke: .  
Orochimaru: now what the hell are you points at Neji doing in my house Neji: oh I'm sorry, is it ok if I come in?  
Orochimaru: since you already here I guess Neji: runs to window HEY HE SAID WE CAN COME IN!  
and out of no place known comes Shino and Garra  
Orochiamaru: WHAT THE, I SAID YOU COULD COME IN NOT ALL YOUR MONKEY FRIENDS.  
Sasuke: it was boring here anyway, but now we got Neji to liven up this place.  
Orochimaru: the only liven I-  
Kabuto: dad iam finish cleaning up all...oh hi guys shino, gaara, neji: hey kabuto Orochimaru: TT walks to closet and gives kabuto a mop your friends tracked mud in my house clean it up.  
Kabuto: takes mop and glares at kids  
Kids: .  
Orochimaru: whats everyone just standing around for!  
Neji: when are you going to feed us Orochimaru: feed you when did I have to feed you!  
shino: I am kinda hungry Orochimaru: shut up stomps into kitchen I'll get you some food.  
Neji: so um what you been doing all day?  
Sasuke: not much Shino: stares at checker board  
Neji: you been playing checkers?  
sasuke: yea for a while Neji: i ll play you.

:10 mins later:

sasuke: king me Neji:... i just realized something.  
Sasuke: what Neji: flips over checker board UCHIHA'S CHEAT AT CHECKERS!  
Sasuke: I resent that Orochimaru: you dont have to resent anything cause its true, now get your asses in that kitchen and eat.  
kids: kids go into kitchen  
Orochimaru: grabs shino go wash your hands.

work

:At dinner:

Neji: Spaghetti O's Orochimaru: yeah so-  
Gaara: I'm allergic to can foods.  
Neji: we dont eat Spaghetti O's at my house.  
Orochimaru: well this ain't your house.  
Sasuke: I dont like Spaghetti O's Orochimaru: WHAT KIDS LOVE THS STUFF!  
kids: no we dont!  
kabuto: I keep telling you dad kids dont like this stuff.  
Orochimaru: no kids love Spaghetti O's just look at shino.  
shino: gulping down his Spaghetti O's  
Orochimaru: see shino loves his Spaghetti O's puts arms around shino doesnt he?  
Shino: mouth chuck full of Spaghetti O's, nods head yes  
Orochimaru: yes he does, yes he does.  
Neji: shino's poor he doesnt have a choice.  
Sasuke: boy doesnt have taste bud.  
Orochimaru: stop talking about my Spaghetti O's loving friend, shino.  
Kabuto: stares at shino kiss ass Orochimaru: hey dont be mean to my friend shino who loves his spaghetti O's, maybe if you ate your Spaghetti O's I would like you too.  
Kids: looks at Spaghetti O's Orochimaru: I'm tired of looking at all your ugly faces I'm going to watch the Amanda show. gets up and leaves  
shino: still shoveling down his Spaghetti O's whats :slurp: wrong gaara :swallow: arent you hungry Gaara: I told you iam allergic to can foods.  
Neji: thats still no reason not ot eat it.  
Kabuto: yeah its not like its going to kill you.  
Gaara: that the thing IT WILL KILL ME!  
Neji: its not like anyones going to miss me if you die.  
Gaara: you guys would miss me wouldnt you?  
Sasuke: .  
Shino: still spooning his Spaghetti O's  
Kabuto: starts poking his Spaghetti O's  
Neji: I wouldnt.  
Gaara: see this is why I cant-  
Orochimaru: aaaarrrrrhhhggg!  
kids: runs in to livining room  
Kabuto: are you ok dad!  
Orochimaru: no I'm not ok, I went to sit on my couch and something bit my ass sasuke: looks at couch oh its fluffy pink princess.  
Gaara: looks at sasuke  
Neji: fluffy who?  
sasuke: pink princess, its my rabbit.  
Gaara: i thought the counselor told you to get a dog Sasuke: he did but... hey how did you know that gaara: points at neji  
neji: shino told me sasuke: were you ease dropping on me at counsiling?  
Shino: yes, but this isnt the first time, I always watch you.  
sasuke: OO Orochimaru: go get my broom.  
Neji: what for, are you going to sweep?  
Orochimaru: starts laughing  
Kabuto: \  
Orochimaru: me clean hahaheehe heh man thats funny.  
kids: OO sasuke: wait hold if your not going too, who is?  
Orochimaru: gives mops and brooms to kids you are now get started I want this house spotless.  
kabuto: grabs mop  
neji: yea, I best be getting home walks towards door  
gaara: same here orochimaru: hell no!  
kids: OO orochimaru: I fed you little titans so now you gotta clean my house neji: I dont see how this is a even trade Kabuto: its not... but you get used to it...still cleaning

Hime Kurai: ok how was that?... do you want me to go on? gimme some reviews even if it is a flames... ja ne 


End file.
